1. Those who make your own coconut milk with freshly grated mature coconut meat, you can use the leftover coconut which has already been extracted in this recipe. That will give you a result closer to Pa Yai's.
2. Naem ("nem chua" in Viatnamese and "mu som" in Lao) can be found at most Asian grocery stores that cater to Thai, Laotian, and Vietnamese shoppers. It can be, and is usually, eaten raw. But if you can't stand the idea, you can crumble it up and saute it briefly in a pan prior to adding it to the salad. Keep in mind, though, that if you choose to go that route, your naem will lose some volume through loss of moisture. This means you probably need to double the amount of naem that the recipe calls for.
3. For a visual guide on how Pa Yai forms and deep-fries her rice balls, this
YouTube video is very helpful. Focus on 0:13 to 2:00.